Weird Tumblr Themes

dosopod:

“you don’t look depressed though”

oh yeah sorry i forgot to bring my literal dark cloud with me today

inories:

going to mcdonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

racistmom:

2 notes doesnt pay the rent 

h0ppip:

"hey aren’t you too old for Poké…”

image

tsarbucks:

i’m fluent in talking shit

  • mom: honey why do you stay up so late
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: because sometimes Beyoncé releases raNDOM SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND I HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THAT

la-meilleure-amie:

everyone says they want a fairytale wedding but when i show up and curse their firstborn suddenly i’m the jerk

intriguers:

how many calories do I burn when I run away from my problems?